Green tea, shrink me.
Addicted.
You know what?
Every day when I wake up,
I tell myself:
“I’m not going to throw up today. Today is the day I stop this.”
And then that night
when I’m doubled over in the shower,
cleansing my insides and
purging like I’ll die if I don’t,
I tell myself:
“I’m not going to throw up tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I stop this.”
So WHY THE FUCK can’t I stop?
It’s an addiction,
only instead of withdrawal making me shake and hurt and wail,
quitting would just make me fat.
Fat and average.
Which maybe is worse than any kind of withdrawal.
I don’t know.
I hate this.
Painted my nails metallic pink last weekend , but had to take the polish off my two fingers because those are the fingers I stick down my throat and the polish had already worn off from purging so much. Great, I can’t even paint my nails like a normal person anymore…
